33 posts tagged “bizarro”
Yes, I’m a huge nerd and also a World of Warcraft addict.
And if you’ve never played the game (or any MMO, for that matter) you won’t get the jokes in the animated image above.
N00b.
My favorite part has to be that they suspect Boromir of being a ninja. “I get plate drops kk?”
REAL ULTIMATE POWER!!!!11!!
I’ve mentioned before of my love for ICanHasCheezburger and LOLCats, but this mornings post has given me a serious case of the giggles and I cannot stop laughing.
Seriously. So dumb.
The above is SNL’s Digital Short from this last Saturday’s episode starring Bon Jovi with Foo Fighters as the music guest. I don’t know why this is so damn funny, but even with the sound off I was cracking up.
The ending makes no sense.
Bravo, Samburg.
BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS!
The following is what I have mailed to the City of Dallas, without the strikethroughs or italicized text. That’s just my own personal comments on the situation.
To The City Of Dallas Corrupt Dirty Shithole Joke of a City:
I recently received a collection notice on two unpaid parking tickets in your city that occurred on Sunday, 6/24/2000 within 9 minutes of each other, for “PARKING ON UNAPPROVED SURFACE”, which the lady obstinate bitch who repeated herself like a broken record I spoke with on the phone told me was a grassy area.
I am disputing the parking ticket on the following facts:
1. This is the most important of all: I have never been to Dallas in my entire life. Ever. (Seriously, your city sucks balls.)
2. The tickets are two different ticket numbers but contain the same information:
Ticket 1: Occurred at 9:07am on 315 N RAVINIA DR
Ticket 2: Occurred at 9:15am on 314 N RAVINA DR
You can see that the tickets are 8 minutes apart and occur what looks to be the same exact street, each with a $95.00 charge.
3. I never received any notification of parking tickets until last year around this same time, 6 years later.
4. The time and date in question is even more proof that it was not me or any vehicle I have ever driven. It was a Sunday morning, and I was still asleep. In HOUSTON. Seriously, get with the fucking program.
5. The vehicle in question was totaled in February of 2001 and I do not own it anymore. (RIP Pezmobile)
6. I have to repeat this, because this is the most important fact of all: I. HAVE. NEVER. BEEN. TO. DALLAS. The car in question, a 1997 Ford Escort, has also never been to Dallas, or if it did, was prior to my owning it in 1999 which is a year prior the tickets.
Please contact me to discuss this dispute, and remove these fraudulent charges from my record. After this is resolved, I do not wish to ever be contacted by The City Of Dallas ever again, and this incredibly ridiculous error is only cementing the desire to NEVER visit your city.
Thank You,
Haggis MacBastard
Apologies to B-Dogg McGee. No offense to you, but your city is stupid.
Arrr.. Give me yon booty, ye vast scalleywag!
While musing with a co-worker on integrating terminology and actions from constantly playing massively multiplayer online role playing games (MMORPG) like World of Warcraft, our conversation inspired me to create a comparison of real life versus MMO life, and what it would be like if the two were mutually exclusive.
If Real Life Were Like An MMO:
- While waiting for friends to show up, you spontaneously break into dance with no accompanying music, although it’s just the same dance move over and over.
- Every time you go walking, you are forced off your path every minute because you need to go dig up a flower or hammer at some rocks.
- You are constantly pestered by teenagers asking you for money or if they’ll take you through an area too scary for their age. Oh wait, this is called parenting.
- You can sleep anywhere, and stop right in the middle of the road for a snack or to read a book.
- The local mall will become an area for smaller groups yelling “Looking for more to shop at Old Navy! Please send text!” They may also walk around wearing a sign that says “LFG ON. PST” and you would know exactly what it meant.
- People will laugh and cheer if a random person decides to stand in a public area in their underwear dancing. Usually this is reserved for private establishments by the airport.
- Sometimes when you ask for a strangers’ help, they may just stand by the door and take credit for your work until you kick them out.
- You can fight someone until almost death, and afterwards they will only reply “good match!”
- Every few months the government will make a massive change to every profession, requiring you to learn all your skills over again–but for free!
- Any store you go into will buy anything you have to sell, but the really good and expensive items are sold on eBay. (Auction house, get it?)
Feel free to add your own in the comments section!
I’ve professed my love for the Wino before (a few times, actually), and today satire newspaper/website The Onion has an article about her troubled life, and the warning signs that we should have all seen.
And so I present The Onion’s “The Troubled Life of Amy Winehouse“:
Friends and family have been in the news recently urging British pop singer Amy Winehouse to quit using drugs, saying that she has a problem. What have the warning signs been?
- Follow-up single to “Rehab” was “Big Fat Lid of Black Tar Heroin”
- Beehive hairdo occasionally drops baggies, spoons, poppy plantations
- Always in good mood or bad mood
- Keith Richards seen leaving her flat looking defeated
- Constantly screams “God, I love taking drugs!”
- Before a show at the Hammersmith Apollo in London, Winehouse refused to go on until the stage had been cleared of all the four-headed snakes and ghosts of her ancestors
- Her music thus far is pretty cool
My favorite line: “until the stage had been cleared of all the four-headed snakes and ghosts of her ancestors.” Brilliant. Effing brilliant.
Conforming to Hollywood’s recent trend of raping our childhood memories, E! Network’s The Soup gives us an exclusive look at the next big blockbuster based off of another classic cartoon from the 1980’s: Rainbow Brite.
I predict already that it will outsell Transformers and Spider-Man 3 COMBINED. The casting decision to play Rainbow Brite herself is genius, and I couldn’t have picked anybody better.
I think i’m gonna have a nightmare about it tonight.
Wow, talk about viral video. The highly shared video above is from the Phillipines Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center (CPDRC), also known as the Phillipino prison. The ypractice strict discipline and unique rehabilitation techniques to bring their prisoners back to being a decent member of society.
Unique techniques such as organizing 1500 inmates to re-enact the dance scene of Michael Jackson’s Thriller video. Or another that involves a song from Sister Act. Or choreographed dancing to a Black Eyed Peas song.
I really like the attention to detail that they pay, like the different kinds of zombies and movement, and of course the one inmate that got tapped to play the “girl,” although the ending kind of scares me a little. What did happen to that guy? *shudder*
